How the heck am I supposed to cheat with the good creamer when Bo’s home from work?
It’s taken a lot of stealthy sneakery, let me tell you. I put him on tooth-brushing detail before the school bus came. I’ve waited until he’s checking something on Facebook. I’ve listened for him to shut the bathroom door.
Aha! Creamer! It’s mine, I tell you, MIIIIINE!
Ahem.
And then he had to go into the kitchen to make his lunch. Can’t he cook somewhere else? Use the grill, most of the snow’s melted by now.
Dammit, now I gotta use the cashew milk.
BLECH YUCK BLECHITY BLECH
Ahem.
So why is Bo off of work? Biff and Bash have a concert this afternoon during their school day. It’s themed “All Things February,” only without anything Valentiney for some reason. Who wants to sing about Valentine’s Day when you’ve got American presidents, groundhogs, weather, and nonsense words like “skinnamarink”?
Buuuut it’s a bunch of kingergarteners, so therefore it will be cute. So long as they’re not singing about poop or farts, I’m fine.
What, don’t your kindergarteners sing about poop and farts? Don’t your third graders? Mine do!
No, I’m not subjecting you to that nonsense. If you want a taste of their humor, go check out the best-selling Middle Grade comic series Dog-Man.
In the meantime, I’m trying to broaden the kids’ horizons with a little poetry. I found a gorgeous picture book edition of “The Negro Speaks of Rivers” by Langston Hughes. Every line receives a painting rich and passionate, so you move slow through the poem, savoring every line.
Langston Hughes is one of my favorite poets. Reading him is always a journey of multiple senses, twisting and turning down the white-space of the page, feeling both the cut of the language and the long echo of the visual.
Just listen to this.
My favorite lines:
I’ve known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.
...
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.
“When dawns were young”…what a magical phrase, infinite and divine.
Not that my kids would listen.
“Look, Mommy, I made Bumbleebee fart on Starscream!”
Sigh.
Give’em time, Jean. They’re kindergarteners. You’ll get them there in time.
Go read Langston Hughes this month. Read him out loud, too, so others can be touched by his language.
Buy my book, too, or you can read my FREE fiction here or here, but only after you read some Langston Hughes.
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Jean Lee's World 
Nothing wrong with a good fart joke.
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol true. But not for the gazillionth time! It’s like one finds something funny and then THEY ALL SAY IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Ahem.
Until Mommy begs them to stop.
Then they find a new one, and the vicious cycle begins anew. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could share a rather crass crap joke here, if you need ammunition in return.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA! I’ll keep that in mind!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a clever poem and I learned it when I was about 12. Let me know when you need it. Your kids will remember for the rest of their lives. I have.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh man, that must be one heckuva poem…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve checked and it is online, but not quite the version I know. I think mine’s best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay, you’ve piqued my interest. Share away!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The night was dark, the sky was blue.
Around the corner the crap wagon flew.
It hit a bump, a crash was heard.
A man was hit by a flying turd.
He couldn’t swim, he couldn’t float,
so all the crap went down his throat.
And on his tombstone, it is writ,
His man was killed by flying S**T.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMAO oh my gosh! Okay, this is–this is brilliant. LOVE this. Thanks for the laugh after a very rough day!
LikeLiked by 1 person
If someone swears that their kids NEVER sang about poop and farts, that person has no clue 🙂
Beautiful poem. Do you have a river close to where you live? Some day, when they grow up a bit, you might try to read this poem at an outing 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA! You speak the truth, my friend.
We do have a river, actually! I love your idea. It doesn’t help everyone’s stir-crazy in this cold, too. I need a lazy summer day when everyone’s a touch worn out after the park to sit and watch the river. That’s what I’ll do, thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, exactly, a summer day when the kids are exhausted and don’t mind sitting back and looking at the flowing water.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on lampmagician.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never heard of Langston Hughes. Expected it to be more angry – sort of wanted it to be more angry. When he’d finished he’d got it just right. Neat ~ George
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe he has a few angry ones, but not many. Passionate, though–he’s so very, very passionate.
Here’s a link to one of his most famous poems–you might have heard it somewhere along the way. It’s so small upon a page, but gives so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I can’t get the link to work – must be a UK thing. Do you know the title? ~ George
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let’s try this one… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6JXHzyX60M
LikeLike
I remember being told by the teacher to mime when the class sang at a concert. The class sang Kumbaya while I mimed to a Billy Connolly rude song. Stunning poem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! Well that must have been a sight.
I love Hughes. My favorite poem of his never ceases to make me cry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you so much for that magical shot of Langston Hughes – I recently discovered his marvellous poetry and introduced him to my Creative Writing class, but it’s wonderful hearing his voice! I hope the concert went off well…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It did, thank you! Today was another matter, but yesterday they were great.
So glad you enjoyed Hughes! LOOOOOVE his poetry, and thanks to YouTube there are quite a few recordings of his work. He also wrote short fiction, but I’m having a brain fart as to the collection titles…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think he had quite a complicated publishing history, from what I can gather…
LikeLiked by 1 person