For me, at least yesterday, it came as a question.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Innocent enough question, right? Routine interview question from the panel, right?
Yet there I sat before the faculty, tears welling in my eyes.
I apologize for my reaction. I understand the question. It just calls me back to…well, I should be honest. It calls me back to when my children were infants and I suffered postpartum depression.
Very, very bad postpartum depression.
I would tell myself over and over that all would be better in five years.
In five years, when the kids were out of colic and not fighting so fiercely, all would be better.
And here I am these days, telling myself that in five years, when my sons are older, things will be better…
In regards to the University, I like it here. I want to continue teaching here, whether it’s full time or part time.
I want to help our students succeed because I know how hard it is for them because I’ve lived that insane balance of raising a family, caring for loved ones, and maintaining a job.
I want to make our curriculum meet our students’ needs because so many just don’t see how important writing is to their success.
I want to help them learn that, see that, for the next five years and farther.
So that should sum up how the interview went this week. I didn’t have many professional, verbose, academic answers for them.
Just a lot of heart.
Maybe that’s enough. Maybe not. No matter what, I’ve done my best and will continue to do my best. With the love of my family and dear friends like you, I won’t stop running with the wind, leaping as a wild child, never quite grown up, never quite done learning. And always ready to share that magic with others.
In the meantime, Bo’s ready to pour a glass of wine for me tonight because dammit, it’s been a long week, and I’ve already cheated the Whole30 code anyway.
Thank you for sticking it out with me, my friends. x
Oh! I finally got my newsletter out this afternoon, including a sneak peek at Fallen Princeborn: Chosen.Check it out!
blinks once, twice, to living color dancing about the library.
Yes, she’s sitting at Liam’s feet, having fallen asleep with her head resting on his knee. Liam’s fingers have wound themselves into her hair.
hearth is cold, and the stale food… unsettling. Shouldn’t Arlen be in the
kitchen by now, scolding Dorjan for raiding the fridge? Shouldn’t there be a
kettle whistling for the velifol tea? How
in brewin’ blazes are they going to defend Rose House against Campion and the Lady?
slowly slips her hand beneath Liam’s to free his fingers from her hair. Still
too many cuts and burns for her liking on his calloused skin. The Lady’s claws
must have struck near his neck, where angry red inflammation peeks out from
under Liam’s white tunic. The leather brace for his blood dagger seems to
restrict the rise and fall of Liam’s chest, so Charlotte holds her hand up to
Liam’s mouth and nose, and feels fitful breaths. Dreaming, maybe.
The teeniest, teeniest bit of space buffers her palm and his lips. She could close that space. Not, not too much: Charlotte’s thumb caresses Liam’s upper lip. Just once. It’d be nice to know his lips feel… oh yes, they feel so very different when not covered by musty facial hair. A dull violet glow emanates from just beneath Liam’s chair: the stone from Orna’s ring. Charlotte bends forward, chin on the floor, eyes almost crossing as she gazes deep into such a simple little thing, like marble, opaque with an inner shine. That shine’s got a power even Arlen doesn’t wanna touch. We better hide this, House, before a nasty Incomplete snatches it from Liam. She poises her thumb behind the stone, sticks out her tongue as she aims, and with a flick, the stone rolls into a little hole in the wall beneath the stained glass window. One eyeblink later, and the hole’s gone. Eight ball in the corner pocket. Thanks, House.
hugs herself against the chilly summer morning as her feet pad softly down the
corridor into the kitchen. No Arlen, no Dorjan.
clings to the Rose House’s walls, wary. Scared.
where are they?”
of silence. Then voices and distant footfalls: the third floor. But not Arlen
or Dorjan: the gravelly voice booming orders has got to be Devyn, leading the
other scouts to harvest the velifol flowers.
Charlotte checks the patio. It did sound like the uncle and nephew went outside
last night. Maybe they’re harvesting mint, or parsley, or whatever it is they
use for pies—Charlotte never really paid attention to the cooking stuff.
“Arlen?” She cups her hands to yell, “Dorjan!” Frost glitters upon the flowers beneath
Rose House’s shadow, but under Charlotte’s feet the frost feels different.
there is a rhythm.
run through the silent halls and out into the kitchen: Poppy as her mouse self,
going on?” Charlotte asks as Poppy changes before her. Though I think I can guess.
Miss Charlotte, Danger!” Poppy says before her whiskers have the chance to
vanish. “Terrible, terrible things below. Campion and the Lady, they got all
juiced up and stronger than before and they’re just totally super angry, and
they wanna get the Incomplete meanies up here, and they wanna just, they wanna,
oh, they wanna—”
“Retaliate.” The human version of Ember lands on a patio chair, feathers not fully transformed into orange patchwork fabric. Her skin reflects the early morning sun from the hall window, turning her white with the frost. “Something’s helped the Lady regain her strength. Eating an Incomplete, perhaps, heart’s fire knows, but she’s moving through the tunnels, and Campion’s at her side,” she says, her voice cracking under her former friend’s name.
“So Devyn’s getting the scouts to take the
thunder rumbles under a blue sky. Then Charlotte realizes the thunder’s not
from above. Oh. Shit. “Arlen and Dorjan,
where are they?”
Ember’s voice remains smooth, but biting her lip doesn’t hide the trembling of her chin. “Not in Rose House, we’ve looked. The wolf kin can protect Arlen, I’m sure.”
Charlotte nods, but this idea of the Lady of the Pits somehow getting out again and acquiring new power despite Liam slicing her face off and taking that magic violet stone from her ring…. How the hell does she find more power inside a bunch of tunnels? And Campion’s bones were broken to bits. Something is wrong, way too damn wrong. “Okay. You’re right. They can take care of themselves.” Because to say it out loud makes it feel more possible, more true. She will not allow her body to shake as Poppy’s does, even And Poppy’s shaking only makes it worse with the thunder rippling through the ground again, this time upsetting the patio stones. She will not let the fear freeze her as frost does a flower.
nods curtly. “We must hope Master Liam’s tree withstands the attack. Come,
Poppy, we need to carry what we can.”
grabs Charlotte’s arm. “But we can’t leave Miss Charlotte! She’s my bestest
friend, and she’s so nice, and she could come with us and be super helpful and—”
Charlotte shoves Poppy towards Ember. “No, stay together. I’ll get out with
right, Poppy.” Feathers tuft through Ember’s neck and hands. “Upstairs.”
rumble. A patio chair topples.
gulps a breath, then two, then takes off, changing as she goes.
takes a steadying breath. “You will hide,” she turns to Charlotte, “won’t you?”
Well what do you know. She kinda actually cares about the human in these here parts. A little. Maybe.
The frost thickens, latching onto Charlotte’s toes. “Long enough to see what that snake bitch’s hatched, yeah.” Another rumble bumps them both up and down. “You go, the House’n’I will buy you some time.”
Ember’s exhale mingles with the cloud of ash and feather already taking shape round her body. “We’re going to the far side of Lake Aranina. It is hopefully too far for the misshapen limbs of the Incomplete to run.”
wings, legs are shrinking. “Let us hope your luck carries us all through this
day.” The orange bird soars up, plucks something from the rooftop, and darts
south for the lake and beyond.
Ashes touch the air.
shriek, far and away.
entrances out of the Pits, both unlocked. One out in the woods.
And one inside Rose House.
“Liam!” Charlotte slams the patio
door, locks it—idiot, it’s fucking glass—and
bolts for the library.
yet to move, eyes closed, breath still slow.
you have to wake up!” Charlotte shakes him, cups his cheeks, brings her face
close—dammit, this isn’t time for that, so
she slaps his cheek. “Liam!” She yells in his ear.
pounding below her feet.
They are coming.
Any thoughts, comments? Please share them below with my thanks!
I Lang hae thought, my youthfu' friend, A something to have sent you, Tho' it should serve nae ither end Than just a kind memento: But how the subject-theme may gang, Let time and chance determine; Perhaps it may turn out a sang: Perhaps turn out a sermon. - Robert Burns