Hello, amazing fellow creatives! Here’s to more fun perusing the library’s new releases to see what strikes our fancy. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve retitled Story Cuppings to better fit the premise of the podcast.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
Today I snagged from the New Release shelf:
Doggone Deadly by Deborah Blake
Huzzah, a book without any prologues of any kind! This week I couldn’t find any westerns, but I did try a type of mystery I’ve never read before: a pet-themed mystery. Doggone Deadly by Deborah Blake took me back to the kid mysteries like Nancy Drew, which felt nostalgic, but I also had some niggles I couldn’t shake.
If you do not see the audio player above, you can access the podcast here.
We jump right into Chapter 1 with our protagonist hiding her friend from a snob who’s throwing her weight around at a local dog show. The pacing between exposition and action is solid, and the setting is broken down in quick details readers can absorb as the scene moves along. This all works very well, especially considering I’m not in the first book of this mystery series.
Then come the characters. While the protagonist and best friend are easy to follow on the page, a third character is in the scene for conflict, and…oh, this snob is all unrealistic stereotype without any playful depth. I appreciate a writer’s use of a few “loud” traits to make characters stand out in a big cast, but detail after detail emphasizes how rich this woman is, how much she hates shelter dogs, how little she cares about other people, and did we mention how rich she is? It’s just way too much emphasis on a few traits, and it makes her act far more like a puppet for plot than a human being. If anything, it could have been far more interesting to see this snob play up the protagonist’s shelter as if it were her goodwill move for the community so the snob could garner more praise and attention. Then the protagonist wouldn’t know how to handle that saccharine sweetness hiding the snobbery from others, and more hijinks could ensue. But that’s just my picky reading self talking. 🙂
As always, I love hearing what’s on the shelves of your own libraries. Libraries Rock!
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Jean Lee's World 
*breaks out her red pencil* Yep, I hear lots of things that I would make note of, as an editor! 🙂
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Lovely Jean. Nicely read and dissected.
I’ve always enjoyed some cosy fiction, especially at times of stress, but I agree, it needs to be carefully delivered, and this one doesn’t sound like one I’d choose. But what a good vehical for some useful tips about how characters work, and why they sometimes don’t.
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I agree with Willow; an editor might have been able to pare down the excess detail.
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I do learn so much from you about writing and story building. Thank you. There was an old movie made in the 70s I think with Jim Dale. Digby the biggest Dog in the world. I loved that movie as a kid and I once ordered the book it was based on from the Library. In those days the library would try to track books down. After months they found a copy but they couldn’t lend it to me, but I could read it in the library. So I did. Sadly the book had to be sent back eventually, but I had read it several times by then. That was the last pet based book I read. I strongly suspect this book won’t be the next one…. xxxxxx
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Pet-based stories definitely have their place! I tried multiple times to get my kids to read The Mouse and the Motorcycle, but alas, that did not happen.
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