It’s time to travel back, back to red-thread letters and caramel voices.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
I did not read the blurb for Hester by Laurie Lico Albanese, but by the end of the first page I realized we were dealing with a character who inspires Nathaniel Hawthorne to write The Scarlett Letter. It’s an interesting concept, especially since Isobel, the protagonist here, does seem to be experiencing some sort of magic by seeing the world in vibrant colors. Her mother scares her into keeping it secret, for witch-burnings can and do still happen in Scotland in the early 1800s. The prose itself reminds me of Louise Erdrich–lines to experience by sound as much as by sight. And for one who doesn’t dive into historical fiction much, I found myself intrigued by Isobel’s determination to enjoy the colors of her visions “safely”: through needlework as a seamstress. If you are not one for historical fiction, I understand passing on this one. For those who want a unique journey to the past or to experience a classic story from a fresh perspective, then I highly recommend Albanese’s imagination here.
For the first time in an age, my library got a new fantasy for its shelves.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
Okay, that gripe aside, the opening pages of The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin do successfully balance hints at the fantastical while remaining grounded in New York City. Our protagonist, who’s unnamed in the opening pages, hears something breathing and calling back to her whenever she sings or paints the city. It’s a unique balance of active exposition that helps readers see and feel the same unsettled curiosity as the protagonist. The only interaction we see the protagonist has with another human being is Paulo, who seems to have this mentor kind of position of a side character. Paulo is trying to share his own moment of seeing something alive in the depths of the city and knows the protagonist can hear whatever that thing is. But the protagonist doesn’t care about a thing; she cares about getting some food in her stomach and having a safe place to sleep from one night to the next.
So this story is something of a slow burn. I’m not saying that’s bad; Jemisin isn’t shy that this is the first book of a series, so Book 1 will of course be full of dropped seeds and mystery boxes to compel readers to read. And these opening pages do have moments alluding to the fantastical hidden among the everyday grit and grime of the city. Why this had to be inside a huge prologue I don’t know, but for those who enjoy urban fantasy stories, I’m sure Jemisin will not disappoint.
The first page had me laughing out loud, folks. We’ve got a promising one here!
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
jEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
Instead, her opening chapter starts with the protagonists preparing for their first mission–not only as stewardesses, but as assassins, too. I mean, when the third and fourth sentences of the novel are “It’s not murder,” Helen corrects. “It’s an assassination, and you can make an effort to look nice.”, you as a reader know you’re in for a fun time.
The opening scene introduces us to a group of women new to this “life of lies” as they prepare for their first mission under their supervisors posing as airline pilots. The dialogue drags a smidge on the fourth page, but there’s enough personality in the exchange that we as readers are okay with the slow preparation, as we are learning to differentiate the character traits of the team. Plus, a brief reflection by one of the women helps remind readers just how much is at stake: not just the mission, but the lives of everyone on the mission, too. The use of movie lines during the exchange also helps emphasize the timeframe we are dealing with, as this first chapter is, essentially, a flashback to the protagonists’ first mission in 1979. The majority of the story is to take place in the present day when all these female assassins are older. For one who loved the movies Red, Harry Brown, Sea Wolves, and yes, Arsenic and Old Lace, I’m really excited to see what time does to these ladies–and what happens to those foolish enough to underestimate them.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
Liv Andersson’s thriller Little Red Housegave me a delightful surprise. Not through it’s subject matter, for the record–it’s a dark thriller that starts with the perspective of a rape and torture victim held captive in a man’s basement. If you do not want to read about rape, just avoid this book. I’m sure Andersson will understand.
No, the surprise for me came as a writer. Andersson avoids prologues, yet her first chapter reads like a prologue we so often see here: it’s short, first-person, and a vivid telling of a dangerous scene. Listening to the victim describe what she hears when her tormentor approaches, hearing her focus on details of her environment for she’s determined not only to escape but kill her tormentor in the process–it is, in short, a compelling opener. I feared that Andersson had given us a stark first chapter to offset what we often see in this podcast: a really slow “second” opener to the book.
Yet that is not the case here! While Chapter 2 does “start over” with another character in first person, we see that this new character is related to the first, which immediately gets us wondering how well the two may know or know of each other. The voice of the new character is similar, but not to the point where I have to check what their names are to keep them straight. Her chapter is also pure active movement with just the teensiest bits of background, so the momentum started with Chapter 1 continues onward. Even though we’ve left one protagonist in a prison, this new character also seems to be in a prison of her own making. Even though she has a key to escape (metaphorically speaking), she refuses to use it. Why?
Again, for those who do not wish to read of sexual trauma, please wait for next week’s installment. But for those who read thrillers into the darker turns of human nature, you’ll not be disappointed with Andersson’s protagonists here. As a writer, too, I find her balance between present action, voice, and “telling between the lines” to be most instructive.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
While Fortune Favors the Dead by Stephen Spotswood is not a new book, it is new to my library. It’s the first of a “hard-boiled” detective series featuring a pair of women (one with multiple sclerosis) solving crimes in the 1940s.
When I read that blurb about the detectives, I just had to give it a go, and I’m so glad I did. No need for bait-and-switch prologues here! We jump right into character Willowjean Parker describing the first time she meets detective Lillian Pentecost: “The first time I met Lillian Pentacost, I nearly caved her skull in with a piece of lead pipe.” It’s a wonderful opening line that brings the classic game/film Clue to mind, and it got me hooked to see how these two would really interact. Just as Pentecost’s body language and dialogue share a lot about her, so do Parker’s thoughts one what she sees and reacts to (“I took the wire out of her hand and had the job done in ten seconds flat. I’d picked harder locks blindfolded. Literally.”) I’m already eager to see how the other two books in this series shape up, for if these opening pages are any indication, Pentacost and Parker are not a pair to pass up.
Welcome back my fellow creatives! In the midst of surviving Midwestern snow, rain, more snow, more rain, and a single epic sledding trip–
–my family and I find warm solace in rereading old favorites.
Bo explores his biographies of the Marx Brothers. Bash marches to battle in his Transformer books. Biff dissects the data of every Federation ship in his Star Trek encyclopedia. Blondie explores the Wings of Fire series yet again, pausing at various pages to create her own illustrations of the story.
Blondie won a blue ribbon for this at the local Art Fair!
Me? I returned to Longbourn.
“Why there, Jean?” you may ask. “Why not a Poirot or Howl or some other such series?”
Good question! First, Bo and I are already enjoying Poirot mysteries via the boxed set of television adaptations he got me for Christmas. It’s as much fun to watch David Suchet and Company bring these stories to life as it is to watch Bo enjoy them. Even my three B’s have started to pay attention. “Why hasn’t anyone died yet? Hastings is silly. Woah, the police are using phones. Wait, that’s radio? WHAT?”
As for Diana Wynne Jones, I’ve a goal to finish a series I started looooong ago for some critical reading here: The Dalemark Quartet. This actually also ties to rereading Pride and Prejudice, for both are influences of my lost-in-development-hell Shield Maidens series.
Lastly, I had come across a really cool YouTuber named Dr. Octavia Cox who does close reading of classic literature, and her analyses of Pride and Prejudice made me realize just much one can uncover when one sloooowly moves through the words.
So, let’s focus today on why rereading those old favorites can do a writer–and reader–some good.
Comfort food for the imagination. When reality is cold and bleak, why not escape to a time and place we love? Of course, trying new things is important, but just as we enjoy those warm, delectable comfort foods, so does our imagination enjoy a return to the familiar. We experience those favorite lines, interactions, and settings with fresh appreciation each time, even to the point where we must read them aloud to others. Bash is an avid fan of this–if a Transformer has made him laugh yet again, he’ll read through the whole scene to Biff and Blondie who then, of course, must read the entire story for themselves. When one person loves a story, one never seeks to hide it! As a writer, those returns can be a marvelous benefit to us as we develop our storytelling skills, too.
Worldbuilding. Because we “know what’s coming” in the story, we can pay more attention to all the periphery details and how those enrich the overall setting. Rereading Howl’s Moving Castle, for instance, helps a reader better see how everyday magic utilized by sailors, bakers, and even hatters in Sophie’s life. Rereading the lives of the Marx Brothers–or rewatching Poirot–reveals the surprising pieces of 1930s life that can easily be forgotten. Rereading Wings of Fire helps Blondie catch specific aspects of dragon culture depending on where those dragons come from. In this reread of Pride and Prejudice, I paid closer attention to second and third-string characters, like the Lucas family, so I could better understand life in the Regency period.
The more we study those social gatherings, the more we understand how important they were for folks to meet anyone potentially suitable for marriage; how a female’s talents in entertainment could lift her up in the eyes of the community, and how many dance steps you had to memorize (oh my GOODNESS I would have failed miserably in that period). One may gasp with Elizabeth when Charlotte accepts the simpering Mr. Collins’ proposal, but when one reads closely, one catches that Charlotte is 27 years old–on the far end of the spectrum when folks were expected to marry. Add the size of Charlotte’s large family and small fortune to the mix, and readers have a clearer understanding of the period’s pressures upon a single young woman.
[Charlotte’s] reflections were satisfactory. Mr. Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband. –Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.
Is it any wonder Mrs. Bennet was cheesed off at Elizabeth turning Mr. Collins down? In that time and place, such a life was a young woman’s best option. We as modern readers may not understand that at first, but the more we reread and revisit the setting of the story, the more we learn.
Foreshadowing. It can be so, so hard to catch the clues dropped early, can’t it? We are caught up in the current moment, eagerly anticipating the next exchange or event that alters the storyline’s progression. That was me with a lot of tales, whether they were mysteries like The ABC Murders or fantasy epics like the Harry Potter series. We can even use Harry Potter as an example here: in the first story, Harry talks to a snake he unwittingly releases from its zoo enclosure. At the moment, it’s a lighthearted moment, but in the second book, we learn that talking to snakes is not common at all; plus, it was a trait usually only seen in witches and wizards who preferred the Dark Arts. So is Harry actually a Dark Arts master in the making? Dunh dunh DUNH!
One of Dr. Cox’s analyses of Pride and Prejudice really got me thinking about this, too, in regards to Lydia Bennet. The youngest and wildest of the sisters, she is on the constant search for entertainment and isn’t shy about demanding it from her family and friends. She’ll flirt with a number of officers, demand balls, play betting games with cards–the girl loves risks in all shapes and sizes. It’s a sly bit of foreshadowing about Lydia’s character arc and the choices she’s capable of making. Jane Austen’s slyness continues when Lydia starts talking about Wickham more frequently; it’s timed just so that it comes after Elizabeth refuses Mr. Darcy and reads his letter of Mr. Wickham’s attempted seduction of Georgiana, Mr. Darcy’s little sister. Elizabeth has no desire in hell to listen any references of Wickham, but what happens?
With such kind of histories of their parties and good jokes, did Lydia, assisted by Kitty’s hints and additions, endeavour to amuse her companions all the way to Longbourn. Elizabeth listened as little as she could, but there was no escaping the frequent mention of Wickham’s name.
Because we’re focused on Elizabeth in our initial read, we don’t wonder why Elizabeth ignores Lydia’s ramblings. In the rereads, though, we better understand that all of Lydia’s choices fit her temperament and character, and when Wickham bolts his militia, it really isn’t a wonder for Lydia to bolt with him for a lark.
Not to mention the hardcore foreshadowing of Wickham!
Character Arc (one way or another). Let’s stick with Pride and Prejudice‘s Wickham here. In our first read, we share in Meryton’s positive first impressions of Mr. Wickham:
But the attention of every lady was soon caught by a young man, whom they had never seen before, of most gentlemanlike appearance.
That is, the dude’s hot.
Lydia’s making a point to flat-out run into this guy and his friend. Elizabeth’s aunt is hollering at the guy from her window. He’s got eeeveryone’s attention with his manners and looks. After a brief run-in with Mr. Darcy, Mr. Wickham starts probing Elizabeth as to what’s known about Mr. Darcy, and through the coming pages we find out that Mr. Wickham is pretty cool with bemoaning his fate at the hands of the prideful Darcy. Once Elizabeth reads Mr. Darcy’s letter, however, she comes to realize how “gentlemanlike” Mr. Wickham often broke rules of decorum by bashing Darcy at every opportunity. Mr. Darcy’s letter also foreshadows an important aspect of Mr. Wickham’s character–his womanizing. He’s not afraid of ruining a young lady’s reputation for his own interests, and while he failed with Georgiana, he succeeds with Lydia Bennet. Everything that was his character is revealed for an arc from “hot guy” to “womanizing jerk.”
Elizabeth Bennet is also a fine study for the character arc. Oh, she remains playfully witty from start to finish, but in the opening chapters of the ball where Lizzy and Mr. Darcy meet, she is just as prideful as he. She laughs it off, sure, but from that moment on she “willfully misunderstands him,” as Mr. Darcy himself put it during their time together in Netherfield. She refuses to believe such an observation, though, and continues feeling herself best and right regarding Mr. Collins’ simpering, Miss Bingley’s interference with Jane Bennet’s happiness, and more. While Elizabeth is right in some of her observations, she has to face her own mistakes later in the story when it comes to Wickham and Darcy. She has misread people, and she has to own up to it. It actually reminds me of Howl’s Moving Castle when Sophie realizes just how much she cares about Howl. She can’t even admit to herself that she’s capable of loving someone until a fire demon lures Howl into a trap. Readers love seeing characters grow into themselves, so having these rereads helps writers better catch when and how such moments happen.
Two People Finding Each Other.
Blondie: What are you reading?
Me: Pride and Prejudice.
Blondie: Who gets murdered?
Me: Nobody.
Blondie: Does anyone die or get blown up?
Me: Nope.
Blondie: Is there magical stuff in it?
Me: Nope.
Blondie: That sounds really boring.
Now when I was Blondie’s age, I would have agreed. I was immersed in fantasy and mystery at that point, so if someone wasn’t getting murdered, then something better be getting blown up. Now, though, as I reread Pride and Prejudice, I am reminded of something many of us seek in stories of any genre. Even the most violent thing I’ve ever studied on this site, Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson’s The Boys, understood this important element of storytelling.
Boys members Butcher and Hughie are both transformed by love: Hughie struggles with a broken heart not once but twice, and Butcher’s descent into revenge begins with the rape and murder of his wife by a super “hero.” Early in their time together, they help two witnesses of a murder rekindle their relationship. Looking on, Hughie says:
What is it about love stories, you know?
BUTCHER: Two people findin’ each other.
Many of us yearn for that other soul that connects with us in a way no other can. There’s a reason romance alone can sell a story and that many genres include a romantic interest. Is it demanded? No. It doesn’t even have to be a love thing. It could be something as equally powerful as finding a friend or a family member. There is a unique joy as a reader in watching two characters come together, “finding” each other in spite of all story-world obstacles–even the barriers they themselves created.
So yes, there is much to enjoy and learn in a good re-read. What are you rereading during these dreary days? I’d love to hear. x
Well, I’m back with a mystery, but I’m not happy about it.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
The prologue of Bleeding Heart Yard by Elly Griffiths is quite well-crafted and compelling and leagues ahead of the first chapter, which is an exposition dump detailing a separate character’s fast-track in her career with law enforcement. Now I can see that Griffiths herself is an avid mystery writer, winner of awards, etc., and the prologue shows me why. Writers would do well to study those first couple of pages to see how this first-person narrative shares a lot about the character without saying it directly. For instance, the first two lines read:
Is it possible to forget that you’ve committed a murder? Well, I’m here to tell you that it is.
This isn’t shocking necessarily, as the dust jacket alludes to the group of main characters committing murder during their school days. It’s how the paragraph ends that gets me:
…everyone [during the murder mystery game] would get drunk and forget the clues. This rather irritated me. I like following rules.
This speaks LOADS about the unique juxtaposition of character Cassie’s traits and morals, not to mention the way her mind works.
I was ready and willing to continue with Cassie, only the official first chapter just starts the story over again with a different character. Had Griffiths given us a bit more time with Cassie and smoothed that shift over to another character’s pov–ending a chapter with Cassie realizing this new character would be in attendance at a party, for instance–I think readers would be more intrigued to learn about her “friend” even if it takes sifting through an exposition dump to do so.
We interrupt this month of mystery with a dark fantasy recommended by my daughter!
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
I had originally planned a mystery for today, but once I saw my selection directly tied back to a previous book without much context, I took my daughter Blondie’s offer to read Beasts and Beauty by Soman Chainani instead. I’m so glad I did!
The illustrations of the first story, “Red Riding Hood,” are stark and bleak–a perfect balance with the vivid yet succinct prose that describes the story-world. Just look at this first sentence: “On the first day of spring, the wolves eat the prettiest girl.” That right there is intense and violent while also providing a sense of time and action. Even though the story is written in third-person omniscient, we as readers feel like we are a part of the story, watching the girl who never thought herself beautiful be chosen by the wolves for their meal. We watch her discard fear, take up her red cloak and knife, and enter the forest. We have heard this tale a thousand times, yet we cannot help but read on, for we don’t know where Chainani’s unique tellings will take us. His control over language is pure magic, and I cannot wait to see his imagination play with the story-worlds of Snow White, Peter Pan, and other classic fairy tale folk.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
On a technical level, the writing itself is fine: the pacing of the action is clear. The details help us see the woman being chased by a “thing.” Yet this prologue also feels very distant; we’re not really feeling things as the character feels, but merely stand as witness as this old woman runs and is eventually captured. And that’s something that snapped me back to reality, too: a seventy-two-year-old is outrunning what sounds like a drone through dangerous terrain in the dark. Whaaat?! It reminds me of the opening sequence to a tv episode like X-Files, where we’ve got to see someone in danger so we can be motivated to keep watching and see that person be saved.
But this is not TV. This is a book. And so we have the words and ability to gather the words that could help readers feel what someone in danger is feeling.
The first chapter’s opening pages continue to give me those “TV vibes.” After writing the characters’ full names for the reader, Henderson then has the characters say their names as if they’ve not seen one other in twenty years. “Alex Carter!” “Ben Hathaway!” But they did see each other only a year ago. Why this double-dump of information? It happens again when Ben asks if Alex wants to get something from the coffee shop. We get double-details that the shop is decorated with local art on the walls and has an “artistic” vibe. This kind of repetitive description simply isn’t necessary, especially since such an environment has become quite common in the western world and therefore is easy for readers to picture. Again, it feels like these details are there as if a script needs a quick setting description before the dialogue starts.
But this is not TV. This is a book, where every word counts. And when one’s writing a mystery, those words should always propel us toward the mystery’s heart rather than its “artistic” walls of generic detail.
We take a darker turn today into a thriller fueled by the virtual illusions created on social media.
As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.
Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES
Well then, let’s study those first few pages in other people’s stories, shall we?
These first two pages are a well-paced scene with balanced external action and sensory detail from the perspective of an unnamed girl without a dime to her name. Her car’s run off the road by a farmer in the middle of nowhere, her tire blows out, and she has no one she could turn to for money. The prologue ends with a mysterious man pulling up to her vehicle offering aid.
Now I mention in my episode that prologues make me nervous because they seem to be the author’s backup plan to hooking readers when they know the first chapter is a slog.
Lo and behold…
We meet protagonist Alex, a social media influence married to a financial talking head named Patrick who also does a lot on social media. The opening pages detail how happy she is with her rise to fame, his skepticism about why people care enough to follow her online, and how he never cared about her daughters.
+++CORRECTION+++ It is not clear in these opening pages if Patrick is the father of those girls or not. In the episode, I interpreted that he is, which makes him sound like an even bigger jerk than he is supposed to be. Upon checking later pages, he is not the father of those girls, so at least this guy is decent with kids. Just wanted to clarify that. +++
Kimberly Belle clearly knows how to craft a scene. Belle knows how to balance detail and action, and she knows how to use dialogue to relay information. If I spot another book by Belle, I’ll likely give it a try. I just struggle to read a story about this particular kind of character. For folks who enjoy the realm of social media drama, or thrillers with that social media flare, this fiction will fit right in with your tastes. As one who is not as keen on such drama, I struggle to relate to such personalities. So, I’m going to see what the next mystery from my library contains.
Jean Lee's World 