jeanleesworld

Finding One’s Footing, Part 2: #Creativity and #Career

Welcome back, my fellow creatives!

In my first update post, I highlighted a major change in our family: our twins Biff and Bash were assessed and diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. This has set us on a very long journey to help them academically, socially, emotionally– basically, all the -ly’s.

For those of you who’ve been with me for a while, you may be wondering about the other little b of my family: Blondie.

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Firstly, that kiddo is not so little anymore. She turned 14 this spring, graduating from 8th grade and preparing to enter high school as a freshman. Granted, the final year was not without its bumps: she broke her tibia on the third day of school, which meant lots of school at home, physical therapy days, learning to move with crutches, strength tests, learning to move withOUT crutches, and the like. God-willing such testing will be over this month, but she’s still got to regularly exercise in order to build up muscle…which is a bit of a problem when the kid hates physical activity.

But that’s my challenge as Mom to tackle. For this post, I wanted to touch on something many of us can understand as creatives: the struggle to find where one’s passion fits in Life’s Balance, especially when it comes to a career.

Blondie has a way of quietly entering my workspace that her brothers lack. Earlier this spring, she slipped in as she usually does, almost apologetically, a quiet “Mom?” barely reaching my ears.

“What’s up, Kiddo?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About what I want to do after high school.”

I turned away from my school emails and faced her. I’ve been a teacher in one form or another as early as age 8. (According to my little brother, I was quite a tyrant.) While I had dreamt of being a librarian or a writer, the teaching thing was something I understood thanks to my mom. It was a job to cover bills, and occasionally helped a change a life or two. While we are unsure what professional futures can handle Biff and Bash, Bo and I both expected Blondie to excel in a terrific profession. The kid’s a whiz, sweet, and loved by everyone she meets. Our girl can do anything, anything she puts her mind to.

Which made the next statement a tough one to take.

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“I think I’d really like to be an animator when I grow up.”

Hope filled her face. She shifted from side to side, hands clasping and unclasping.

It hit me she came to me when I was alone for a reason. Her father’s a pragmatic guy. While he loves film and studying all things classic cinema, he’d never consider a career in the arts for one hot second. I, Mom, on the other hand, am a fellow creative. I should understand, support. I’m a storyteller. Surely I’d be all for this pursuit in the creative arts.

Which made it hurt like absolute hell to say what I said.

“I don’t think that’d be a good idea, Kiddo.”

Hope faded from Blondie’s eyes as she pulled back. “How come?” The question came out in such a tiny voice, the voice of a little one denied so many things so damn often.

But no. I had to do this. The advent of AI programs utilized among companies to produce royalty-free art is going to severely slash the jobs for animators, graphic designers, and others. Hell, writing itself is going to be an even tougher market thanks to the AI ghost-writer books hitting Amazon bookshelves.

I explained that I love to write, and I love to create, but it is VERY rare to count on creative work to pay the bills. Dammit, I want my kid to be able to support herself, not become a starving artist in the literal sense. “What if you went into art education? Or art therapy? You could share what you love to do while helping people. Wouldn’t that be neat?”

But Blondie shook her head. “Ugh, children. I don’t even want to babysit this summer.” (Which is true. Blondie is not at all keen on little ones. Too loud and smelly.)

I reached out for her hand and looked into those big blue eyes of hers. “Blondie, you are wonderfully talented. I love when you want to draw and explore stories in your sketches. But even authors who sell a lot of books still do other things to make sure they have enough money to live on. Artists, too. Keep making art, Kiddo, but you’ve got to have a job that’s stable and safe so art can keep being that fun, special thing in your life, not something you HAVE to do to make sure you’ve got, you know, food to eat that day.”

Looking back, I felt I was saying these words to myself as much as to Blondie. I took on a full-time teaching position at the university because my family needed that extra support from me. Would I have loved to write full-time? Hell, yes. But I accepted that such a pursuit is not fair to those I love counting on me to keep life safe and stable. Yes, the sacrifice has been hard, so hard I couldn’t even write a proper post here for over a year. But that sacrifice was not in vain. Bo and I can now search for schools where neurodivergent children thrive. We can help prepare a creative daughter to try new things as she steps closer to adulthood.

There really are good things to be discovered when one lets the creative passion remain a passion and not transform into a profession…at least, before its time, anyway.

~*~

We stopped in the library after school as we usually do. I needed to gather books for a nonfiction presentation (more on that in a different post), and Blondie wanted more volumes of some manga like One Piece and Spy Family X. She meandered over to me with her pile and said, “I like libraries.”

“Me too, Kiddo.”

“They’re quiet, and they’re full of books.”

“Yup.”

“Maybe I could work in a bookstore in summer, like Barnes and Noble.”

Ugh, the closest one of those was nearly an hour away. Buuuuuuuuuuut…hmmmmmmmm.

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“You know, Kiddo, librarians are pretty cool. They get to pick out books to hold in the library, build literacy programs, create special events for different ages, provide services for the needy–lots of things.”

“Really?” Blondie asked.

“Yup. Every community needs a library because they do so much to help folks. Librarians even have their own special field of study to get ready to do this stuff.”

“Huh.”

“You know,” I pause dramatically as I set my pile of books on the counter, “a librarian would be a pretty cool job. Just sayin’.”

A few sparks of hope appear in Blondie’s eyes. “Huh.” She looks around, and a smile forms. “I do like books. And I bet I’d have some time to draw.”

I smile back. “A little, I reckon.”

“And I could maybe do commissioned art online on the side like you teaching and writing books on the side.”

I nod as the librarian approaches. “Maybe you could get started by doing some volunteer work at the library to see how it feels.”

“Would they pay me?”

The librarian and I both chuckle at that as she checks out our books. “It’s volunteering, Blondie.”

“Would you pay me?”

“VOOOOLUUUNTEEERING.” (I got a polite Shh after that.) “You are paid with experience and therefore scholarship application material.”

Sure, that wasn’t the answer Blondie wanted, just like we creatives don’t want to hear all that platform-building, all that outreach, all that WORK we put into being indie writers doesn’t promise an immediate return. But finding our paths, be they creative or career, takes time. They take effort. And the return on those investments will come back as new friendships, as new skills, as new knowledge that can be equipped over and over again to make those paths clearer, easier, and more rewarding.

So, my fellow creatives, let us all remember that the separation of creativity and career can be good for us. We never know how those diverged paths will intersect in the future.

(That’s foreshadowing for later, ahem.)

Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!

27 comments

  2. Give Blondie a big hug from me. It’s great to know a spark of hope has reappeared in her eyes. And tell her I have seven books checked out of the library and another three on reserve.

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    • I will tell her and hug her for you, thank you! She’s always enjoyed visiting libraries with me, and it seems the idea of working on selecting books and helping others find unique stories really appeals to her. And it helps art is not a forbidden thing, it just can’t be THE thing. Besides, one always needs a source of inspiration, right? 🙂

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  4. Oh my gosh — well, first, sorry about all the angst and extra work that kids on the spectrum brings, but you are an uber mom and it’s obvi you’ve tackled it with aplomb, Jean. My youngest was diagnosed in high school with ADHD and in retrospect, I can’t believe I didn’t see it, but once you get the coping mechanisms down, things are easier to manage. That same kid came to me two years into college and said she wanted to switch from advertising to film. Boy did I agonize, but ultimately, after weighing all the pros and cons, I said, “It’s your life and your decision.” At the time, she was doing photos, videos and social media for her part-time job at an orthodontist and I said, very clearly, that she needed to keep her eyes open for the opportunities to make money as a creative. So, e.g., you could have a niche making short videos for medical or professional services, get your name out there, etc. It was more for me than her because I could see money-making possibilities — no one wants their kids to be starving artists and like you, I did all my writing on the side while I did my law gig full time — but if you can figure out a way to get paid, then sure, follow your bliss. Today, I’m meeting with a college kid who has just started in graphic design and who is going to do a book cover for me. So maybe encourage Blondie to be entrepreneurial? That’s really the only way to work with the coming changes, right? And then, maybe after a little time of working your passion into the interstices of life and staying up way to late to do that ;0), she may be able to convert her passion into her full time job. I wish you all luck. Making art is not for the faint of heart.

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    • I love your idea here, Pam, and thank you so much for showing that it helps to have that balance. Yup, Blondie digs the idea of taking commissions on the side, and I think that’ll be a great way for her to do professional art on her terms. 🙂 A new book?!?! I’m so far behind and excited to hunt down more about it!!!! xxxxxxxx

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      • Oh, I’ve been working in and off in it for years so maybe finally getting to the finish line.
        Blondie sounds like a smart one. If she really wants it she’ll figure out a way to get it. Just gotta give them the green light 🚦

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    • Many thanks, Chris! Blondie is such a wonder–it’s just a matter of getting that spark in her going so she continues on. I love how she’ll just spend time sketching different facial expressions and movements of hands just to see how they can look. I don’t want her to lose that joy in trying xxxxxxx

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  6. I think you gave very sensible advice to your daughter. It’s important to earn decent money. And a person can do that while still having plenty of time to pursue their creative talents. And you never know — the creative talents might even end up becoming successful pursuits financially.

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    • Yes, exactly so. And even she likes the idea of exploring her art at her own pace, as she enjoys experimenting in her sketches so much. It’s hard to do that when one’s always on a deadline! xxxxx

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    • That’s precisely how I felt when I attended graduate school for writing. I thought it would be the ultimate piece of my academic journey: I’d get to write stories FOR class! Yet by graduation I did not want to write fiction ever ever again. It really did take postpartum depression after Blondie was born to consider returning to storytelling. And now here she is, being awesome. I hope your Hawklad is making some awesome memories with you. xxxxx

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