I’ll always be a sucker for Art Deco.

As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.

Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES

This month I snagged from the New Release shelf:

Alchemy of Secrets by Stephanie Garber

FIrst of all, just look at those covers. Talk about a tone shift! The left has a gorgeous, magical art deco style that promises something otherworldly. The right just looks like the setup for a romcom. You can throw all the glitter you want on top of a lady with a martini, but in the end, it just looks like a lady with a martini.

But enough with my book cover gripes. Let’s get to my other gripes, lol.

Okay, okay, that’s a little harsh, but I really don’t like second-person for a pov. Just because one can do a thing doesn’t mean one should. It’s also jarring because the book doesn’t stay in second-person; only the prologue talks to readers like they are the protagonist Holland finding the mysterious theater with the mysterious college class about folklore. Don’t get me wrong–the theater’s beautifully described, and Garber knows how to build up tension by using present-tense for Holland–well, the reader–waiting for that class to start. But it’s a weird shift putting readers into Holland’s shoes for three pages before yanking them out for a more traditional third-person in the first chapter. The true first chapter starts with a date and some exposition about this too-perfect guy that Holland is seeing, aaaaand I was already getting a bit bored when my reading ended with her discovering a poster mentioned in her mysterious folklore class.

There’s a lot of promise here with the magical underworld of L.A., and fans of Garber are likely accustomed to her writing quirks to be ready for pov shifts and meet-cute exposition. But the magic of that theater in the prologue felt like a bait-and-switch. It can be tough to know when a story truly begins. It feels like Garber considers Holland’s date and search for something she heard about in the folklore class to be the start of the story…but if readers don’t know about the magic of the class, then they won’t understand Holland’s determination to do that search. The prologue feels like a cheat to cover this, and I’m just not a fan.

I’m taking December off from blogging and podcasting, so we’ll have to see what stories await us in the new year! Stay tuned!

Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!