Beware the electric Necromancy!

As writers, we hear all the time that we’ve got to hook readers in just the first few pages or else. We’ve got to hook agents in the first few pages or else.

Whether you’re looking to get published or just hoping to hook your reader, first impressions are vital. Compelling opening scenes are the key to catching an agent or editor’s attention, and are crucial for keeping your reader engaged.
JEFF GERKE, THE FIRST FIFTY PAGES

This month I snagged from the New Release shelf:

Alchemised by SenLinYu

A wee while back Blondie mentioned spotting Alchemised in the midst of her browsing at the bookstore, and the title popped back into my brain when I visited the library this week. The blurb on the dust jacket promises a dark fantasy involving necromancy, alchemy, and war, so that sealed the deal.

Now I admit that I was hesitant at first when I opened the book and saw a prologue.

But thankfully, this prologue did its job. In a single page, we meet Helena as she struggles to keep her memories while in “stasis,” a sensory deprivation container where she is jolted with electricity every few hours until “someone” comes to get her. Only that someone does not come. Helena loses her sense of time, but she knows her purpose: “She had to stay ready.”

Not that she tells readers what that means. And that’s okay. I don’t want an exposition dump in the prologue.

Chapter 1 starts with two men discovering Helena, who was “stored wrong,” and she lashes out to try and escape even though her senses are completely overwhelmed. They knock her out, and she wakes to hear a woman speak of carrying her to “Central” because there are no prisoner records of Helena, and yet she has two numbers. She’s also alive and literally kicking, unlike most of the other statis residents.

I tip my hat to SenLinYu for using Helena’s lack of senses for storytelling purposes. Helena can’t see or move around much, so the only input Helena–and therefore readers–can get in these early pages is through dialogue. And SenLinYu uses that dialogue to accomplish some quick worldbuilding without overwhelming the readers. There’s a High Necromancer mentioned, and the woman orders that any corpses in stasis chambers should be reanimated for labor.

WHAAAAAT?

But the dust jacket did mention necromancy, and here we are on the third page of the book hearing about the necromancy. There’s also a degree of science involved in this world, too, for Helena was in some sort of special gel and often jolted with electricity. And on top of all that, there is also magic besides necromancy, for the woman alters Helena’s senses to make it easier for her to use her eyes.

The prose style here is solid, too. SenLinYu reminds me a little of Lee Child, putting a mix of short and long sentences to use so that the narrative pacing is fast without the prose feeling choppy. A good example comes when Helena is first awoken by the men going through all the stasis chambers.

Light was stabbing her. A spike driven through her eyes, burrowing into her skull. Gods, her eyes.
She writhed. The brightness blurred, careening. The burn of fluid rushed down her throat. A roar in her ears.

Overall, I am happy Blondie put this title in my brain. If the first five pages are any indication, SenLinYu’s got a lovely debut on their hands.

Let’s see what next month’s find will teach us, shall we?

Coming up, I’m out to buck a publishing trend and share some cult-classic music. Let’s not forget about those author interviews and adventures in the Story Empire, too! Stay tuned!

Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!