How the heck am I supposed to cheat with the good creamer when Bo’s home from work?
It’s taken a lot of stealthy sneakery, let me tell you. I put him on tooth-brushing detail before the school bus came. I’ve waited until he’s checking something on Facebook. I’ve listened for him to shut the bathroom door.
Aha! Creamer! It’s mine, I tell you, MIIIIINE!
And then he had to go into the kitchen to make his lunch. Can’t he cook somewhere else? Use the grill, most of the snow’s melted by now.
Dammit, now I gotta use the cashew milk.
BLECH YUCK BLECHITY BLECH
So why is Bo off of work? Biff and Bash have a concert this afternoon during their school day. It’s themed “All Things February,” only without anything Valentiney for some reason. Who wants to sing about Valentine’s Day when you’ve got American presidents, groundhogs, weather, and nonsense words like “skinnamarink”?
Buuuut it’s a bunch of kingergarteners, so therefore it will be cute. So long as they’re not singing about poop or farts, I’m fine.
What, don’t your kindergarteners sing about poop and farts? Don’t your third graders? Mine do!
No, I’m not subjecting you to that nonsense. If you want a taste of their humor, go check out the best-selling Middle Grade comic series Dog-Man.
In the meantime, I’m trying to broaden the kids’ horizons with a little poetry. I found a gorgeous picture book edition of “The Negro Speaks of Rivers” by Langston Hughes. Every line receives a painting rich and passionate, so you move slow through the poem, savoring every line.
Langston Hughes is one of my favorite poets. Reading him is always a journey of multiple senses, twisting and turning down the white-space of the page, feeling both the cut of the language and the long echo of the visual.
Just listen to this.
My favorite lines:
I’ve known rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow of human blood in human veins. ...
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.
“When dawns were young”…what a magical phrase, infinite and divine.
Not that my kids would listen.
“Look, Mommy, I made Bumbleebee fart on Starscream!”
Give’em time, Jean. They’re kindergarteners. You’ll get them there in time.
Go read Langston Hughes this month. Read him out loud, too, so others can be touched by his language.
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!